world economic crises, and everything around me, i duno why i need to care, or lets say want to care,but somehow i care about it, guess what Alex, you are not asking for a new present for your BD, because our family has no money, and dad is on the border on losing his job...so lets save money. Alex, you are the weight for your family, your parents has to pay for your university educational fees, and you are doing badly in skl and for SAT, stop making them worrying, do something, prove to the world u can do it. i know i am the weight for my family, but if i dun go into university( at least good), then my life is ruined, i wun want to be blue collar whole of my life, therefore i have to start workin,everynight b4 i sleep, i was thinking about skl,SAT, Piano, everything, University, thinking what kind of uni i will get into, wondering what will be my final IB marks, 35 or 25? mayb its the second one, but i sure get higher than that, because IB states, u cant get more than 2 twos in ur report, and no ones allows, i wun get ones in final, but who knows....chem and math, i suddenly feel everything is so hard, so stressful, i wana go away, leave this world, or mayb go africa, let me die myself, because i cant take this anymore.......who understands.........35, i want a 35,but i need to work towards that aim,no use without working hard,but there is always a barrier that prevents me from doing so, i am not sure what is it, mayb i am the barrier, and to break it, break me, but is there any other barrier than i cant get through, i duno. i act normal infront of my parents, because i dun want them to worry about me, but i know its hard to be 2 different person, but i have lead a life like this....
Feb 7, 2009
SAT????life????nothing is ontrack
Alright 1790, thats the mark i got when doing by myself at home,but when i enter the test center i got 1320. i mean thats a big difference. mayb its because i am nervous,but anyways, i still plan to improve more on my SAT results, i need to learn the method. My skl IB, thats what i m worried about, well i guess term 2 report, chinese 7, business 6,English 5,chem 2, math is 2, and phy is 4 mayb. thats meakes 26 out of 42, very bad man, i mean i want at least 30+ to get into a good university, or at least 35 plus, well i need to work harder on my math, but what is the problem, i am not sure too, i just cant get anything right during a test, same for chemistry, my next step i m going to take it slowly, i am improving my chem to a reliable mark, to get good marks like chunerr(not that good but best in our class)..hes like the best, ok i can do it, all i need it movtivation, for physics, i understand, the concepts, this year, everything is hard, it looks hard seems hard and everything elese, and why cant anyone send me the file for siBelius 5, i need it. Life is a nightmare, i want a nre start, a new blank page in my bible science, turn a new page for me... 42,42,42,42,42,42. thats the number that is always appearing on my mind, because somehow that is linked with me....yea it sure it, well today i analyzed my problem on SAT, i dun have understanding problem, its just carelessness and stupidness that brings me down all the time, just like in skl, for math exam and for chem exam, i aint blamin anyone or anything, but somehow i think this is my problem. yea people say i m werid, i am emo, i cut myself, i talk to myself, so? thats me.....i duno who i am, yea mayb outside it seems i am Alex, but actually i was dead long time ago, i died because of sorrow,pain,hatred, and pressure. now i know what is pressure like, how it feel,SAT...do i really have to go to america?yea i just dun wana go Sg because of NS,but what if like FUCK IT
world economic crises, and everything around me, i duno why i need to care, or lets say want to care,but somehow i care about it, guess what Alex, you are not asking for a new present for your BD, because our family has no money, and dad is on the border on losing his job...so lets save money. Alex, you are the weight for your family, your parents has to pay for your university educational fees, and you are doing badly in skl and for SAT, stop making them worrying, do something, prove to the world u can do it. i know i am the weight for my family, but if i dun go into university( at least good), then my life is ruined, i wun want to be blue collar whole of my life, therefore i have to start workin,everynight b4 i sleep, i was thinking about skl,SAT, Piano, everything, University, thinking what kind of uni i will get into, wondering what will be my final IB marks, 35 or 25? mayb its the second one, but i sure get higher than that, because IB states, u cant get more than 2 twos in ur report, and no ones allows, i wun get ones in final, but who knows....chem and math, i suddenly feel everything is so hard, so stressful, i wana go away, leave this world, or mayb go africa, let me die myself, because i cant take this anymore.......who understands.........35, i want a 35,but i need to work towards that aim,no use without working hard,but there is always a barrier that prevents me from doing so, i am not sure what is it, mayb i am the barrier, and to break it, break me, but is there any other barrier than i cant get through, i duno. i act normal infront of my parents, because i dun want them to worry about me, but i know its hard to be 2 different person, but i have lead a life like this....
world economic crises, and everything around me, i duno why i need to care, or lets say want to care,but somehow i care about it, guess what Alex, you are not asking for a new present for your BD, because our family has no money, and dad is on the border on losing his job...so lets save money. Alex, you are the weight for your family, your parents has to pay for your university educational fees, and you are doing badly in skl and for SAT, stop making them worrying, do something, prove to the world u can do it. i know i am the weight for my family, but if i dun go into university( at least good), then my life is ruined, i wun want to be blue collar whole of my life, therefore i have to start workin,everynight b4 i sleep, i was thinking about skl,SAT, Piano, everything, University, thinking what kind of uni i will get into, wondering what will be my final IB marks, 35 or 25? mayb its the second one, but i sure get higher than that, because IB states, u cant get more than 2 twos in ur report, and no ones allows, i wun get ones in final, but who knows....chem and math, i suddenly feel everything is so hard, so stressful, i wana go away, leave this world, or mayb go africa, let me die myself, because i cant take this anymore.......who understands.........35, i want a 35,but i need to work towards that aim,no use without working hard,but there is always a barrier that prevents me from doing so, i am not sure what is it, mayb i am the barrier, and to break it, break me, but is there any other barrier than i cant get through, i duno. i act normal infront of my parents, because i dun want them to worry about me, but i know its hard to be 2 different person, but i have lead a life like this....
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