holiday

one week of holiday is gone...today is friday...time flys really fast,recalling what i did this whole week, not much things, i regret, for not using my time wisely...this is gay...band....very gay....we do 3 songs...but nothing can be done each time. because its either one person cant get the things done....
I m looking at the dark night sky
keep pretending the sun will not rise
i hope life and time stops at this moment
so that i can never move on,
and never moving on will have less bad memories...
part of the song i made, i duno what it is life...mayb this will help me out...me drummer and pianist for band...i seriously feel like dying...dun wana live anymore...i m tired...i want to sleep and never wake up.....
but i have responsibilities on me, so if i just turn and walk away like this, am i being too irresponsible? i think i m,...but i feel pressure, mayb of exams, i hope our skl can give more hw to us, or to me,..i want pressure,because it will make me forgot the past, and make me move on...towards my aim.....my goal....

Fragile Future 2

life apologises, i m regretting for all the things that i have done this year. thinking about it, making me feels bad, also, i guess im wasting my time in the holidays, so i got to work harder than b4. next year, i hope things will change, actually the world or life is very good. but i feel that my life sucks, because nth goes my way, i m not sure what is it inside me that prevents me from doing all the things i want, something that sucks all my energy away. i m a lonely guy, living on one small corner of the earth. what can i do? to make more friends? friends. yea a nice word,but friends will hurt u ttoo, so i never believe in friends totally(except for jeff,czuse i know him since young.) jeff and me both agree, love anint something good. we have different points of view. to me, love is like a suciding weapon, that will cause others to do all kinds of bad things, its a demon shape. therefore i prefer darkness and pain,because at least that is a feeling to me. i m not sure about me, m i wasting my time on earth here? i m not sure too,but at least i know i m here for a goal.UNIVERSITY. apologises, back to me, i cant stand it anymore,this years christmas was colder than before, and also the christmas night was darker than b4. my life hurts more than b4 too,because i feel worse than b4,..........