Apology

life is coming to a change soon, i got rejected by U iowa, but accepted by Purdue University. waiting for other offers....queenie...i love u , and i will always, but i know, one day we r gona end, until god tear us apart....this is life? X factors huh i guess, i cant hurt u, but i can hurt myself...

somehow, i am with LQZ Now....hehe haha hoho....lol...guess theres somethign in me that she sees, but she wont tell me..comeone qing zi, i wana know. :P

well. early decision deadline almost up. i avent get all my stuff ready, last and final important step. GET MY TRANSCRIPT.!!!tmr!!!MUST!!!!....i dont reali care...for ED to U michigan....give a try....purdue is my aim, seems prety easy. well....we cant predict the future, but its since such a long time, before i feel loved again....i do n i m happy....she changed me... and shes the one i m looking for....

this week is driving me crazy, well actually is this whole month, first piano, then SAT then exams n university,,,,whats next.........sign,,,,i m tired, i reali hope i quickly graduate, so that i could enjoy myself with her :D bring her to the honeymoon...mayb during christmas, got ot plan....

random```

joined the SAT tution class since august 4th, i feel that i m getting better at everything, math, essay, reading, grammer...alright this sounds cool,haha but i didnt do skl work...well thats okay, i can do it after school reopens.:D

well, talked with flo on phone almost everyday, do i like her or something?????????? in actual fact, i do not know too,i do not have any idea too...i think i do....sometimes i think i dont....i m not gay....like what others say....well 2 weeks ago, hurt my toe now is better though... its good, cause i can play ball again.

well my class is good(SAT), those guys r gun, espically CP and Luo xu yang. haha they r fun people, the teachers r good too, its the kind of atmosphere i like.....fun... for once i felt happy in life...haha...

what my next aim, i heard some people went to indianan university, its not good?? i m not sure too, but i wana go into a university, i dont really care what it is, all i need is a degree.......cause i know i suck....if i could score 2000 above, i surely throw a party to everyone....only in my SAT class, because for anyone who see this blog someday in the future...i want u all to know, i never liked u all(MY SCHOOL PEOPLE some though).

this life is not what i expected, i am having mixed, mayb to me, flo is just another one of my mistakes......sign..... i m tired, really tired,,......tell me..what to do next...who understand..........who.....

APATHY+AGONY=?

my life means nth without u

angela,,...i know u saw it, i know u saw what i write on ur wall. but i duno whats between u and me, ifu dun like me, u tell me, no point hiding....u know i have always liked u, i didnt catch the message, its my bad,,,i m sry, i just wana tell u , i need u in my life, my life sucks without u....just come back to me, will u???

i have no clue and direction in life now,,,someone help....
when u turned and walked away, do u know how i feel?apathy is the only word i could think of right now towards you. your "love" for me////.....i never asked u for the world, i only wanted a word from u
now, its all gone,,u and i, never make it....if thats the case, i guess i am backing down for you, but i just want u to know, that, u r always there in my heart, and no one can take that space from you...i will be back.. ange;a. i will, with a band, writng a song for you.....and at that time....u shall see who i really am........just 3 words for you right now....i miss you

everyone has surely met some people asking them this question.
"if ur wife and ur mum both jumped into the river, who would u save first'
how will u answer this qurstion? it all depends on us actually, both person are important to us,
how ever, this leaves u in a situation to choose between love and loyalty....,
how would u choose?

many things, i cant get off my mind...is this how life is suppose to turn out? from every one i have known so far, no matter younger or older, or same age, they do better in studies than i do?y? am i stupid?
i tried hard,but i think i did not try hard enough....sign i m tired

high school sucks, can anyone give me a reason, why i suck so much at math and chemistry?man i given up on those subjects,but its important.....right? i know that too

i dont feel anything towards anything happening around me, i study like i use to, and i dont care about people....thats who i am

i m getting ready to apply to some crappy college in USA, and lead normal life

Screwed Up SAT...

god damn,screwed up SAT, u should know how i feel now, pressure,exams coming,i just wana get myself out of all this. meet this girl called Angela, through lucy,caused her to lose all her social status, 2 days, many things happened, i m like a failure now, nth works out for me, whats the potin of living.y am i always the one cvhosen for battle, and bad things?

prom...A place i shouldnt go

i dun think i should go to prom should i? thats not the place for me. lolhaha
and i am pretty sure this is good news for many people, that i am not going....bcoz i can do a survey to prove i am right

i made new songs

Life is Always the same

Another night going by
I am still staring at the ceiling
I can hear myself crying
For things that have passed long ago

Will this ever end
Will this life mean something again
If I had my way
I will shout it out and say

This is not the life I wanted
All I want is recognition
Loves not enough when we say it
Don’t we know we have to mean it

I am screwing my life forever
There is always nothing better

Another night goes by and,
Still feel the same way before
Can anyone help me out
Because I am dying right here

I wana cut my wrists
And end this painful life
What the point of living
When nothing works out right

This is not the life I wanted
All I want is recognition
Loves not enough when we say it
Don’t we know we have to mean it?

Now I am feeling much better
But I hope life will be better
This is something out there for me
And now I am reaching for it

A Lonely Birthday

I feel hot outside
But inside I m feeling cold
My bloods freezing, and my veins are contracting
Never felt so lonely on this night before

I always wished someone special was there for me
Here with me, on my birthday…..
I recalled the times we used to have
The time we spent together looking at the stars
Talking about our lives

Here it goes again, I am crying again
Its too much left for me
I try to get over it, but I cant
I cant forget the times we had
The things we did
The scene when I hold your hand and lit the cake
The times when we first kissed…..

But now I am all alone, on my birthday
And you are out there with someone
Someone……
We used to be friends, you seem so near, but so far away
The pain inside me, I still feel, when you turned and walked away
You left my life in a mess, I cant do anything now

What’s the point of living, without you beside me…
My life is empty, without your laughter repeating beside me
But now I say

Here it goes again, I am crying again
Its too much left for me
I try to get over it, but I cant
I cant forget the times we had
The things we did
The scene when I hold your hand and lit the cake
The times when we first kissed…..

And now it’s all over, and I have only a few words for you

You left me here bleeding, when I die, you shall cry…..

SAT/Singapore trip

man the trip[ to singapore was reali dramatic. espically me. ok i was at the airport, and checking in my luggage, and when passing through the sensor, they asked me to open me bag, and they found a knife. its my swiss knife, which i bought for fun, and i forget that i left it in my bag, so i was. OH GOD< NOW I M SCREWED. but luckily i was alowed to passed, with my bad checked in, that was reali scary. well, time changed to singapore, while existing the airport, i was chosen to have my luggage checked, and they found the knife agin!!!!!!!!wtf man, now i m unlucky, always me, two times in a row, but luckily, its not those kind of spring knife, so i got through safe. right this is an unpleasent jurney. at the MRT station, we took the train to trah marah, we r suppose to exist from the right, but mum said left, so we went to the life, and it was wrong, so we went back onto the train again, and we took the train back to the airport and back again.!!!!!!!and we found our way......

well the hotel, thats gay, its called hotel 81. it is said near bugis MRT station, but it took me and mum 1 hour to get to the damn hotel, we walked there, and SG was like 35 degress......we reached the airport at 6, and we reached the hotel at about 8, mman 2 hours on the road, and it;s in Singapore. right, the hotel was 109 dollars a night.

day 2 was normal. day 3 same. i was preparing for the test on SAT. saturday approaches, and i woke up early, and took a shower, maybe because i was in a rush, i forget to put shamppoo on my hair when wasing it, damn, and i left that way to the test center, i was having myh test at starhub center. when we got out of the hotel, it was raining, so we called a cab there, 1 minute after we got onto the cab, the rain stopped, how unlucky was that?!!!damn. reached starhub center, i entered, the room i was in, doesnt have a clock, and so i start to freak out, and they said they have a clock i was relieved, and at the same time, mum said she lost her damn expensive watch, but bcoz i was about to start my test, mum rushed to seven eleven to bought me a new watch, which cost 10 dollars.:". after the test, mum said is her radar watch (which cost 20000) in my bag, and we search throughly through my bag, and it wasnt there. mum lost her mood, and we headed back to the hotel without saying a word. back at the hotel, mum asked the guy in the reception if they found her watch, and they said no, so i went up myself to search it with mum, and we found it under the bed. the watch. it means that those guys didnt even come up at all. LIARS, LIARS, PANTS ON FIRE>>>>so everything was fine, good? ok. cool. after SAT, me and sunny(my brother), we went to wild wild wet, to play, it was fun, but i had height fright, and sunny forced me to go up to a slide that was 10 meters tall and slide down, when i come down, i was so scared, that i almost faint.he know that i had height fright, and he does it on purpose, what a guy, lol. that night was fun, we went to tompson road to eat chicken rice, it was reputated to be the best in the whole of singapore, and it seems true, there is alot of people there waiting for a seat.

and i think thats a trend, after bad luck, good luck comes, on sunday, on the way back, my flight is SQ 836, and guess what, when i was thinking of how to go home when i reached shanghai at 11, i met my classmate. NOUYEE, she was on the same flight with me, so on the plane, i asked her if i could take her car to puxi, and she said yes, so i had a free ride, lol. thanks nouyee. see thats why, its good sometimes. now all i had to do is to wait for my results to be out, i hope i will get around 1600, or higher. and at the same time, i am going to focus on my school work, and raise my results, espically math, chem, and biz(not reali), biz is stupid, i dun like it, the things it test. sign

this is high school , what can i do?wait wait iwait and wait. patience and hard work is all i need in life, in the future......and now....and now its time to study

i was wondering what i can get for IB,mum said 30 is enuf, but i know its not, and i am aiming for 35, which means at least 7 for 4 subjects, and i m confident for 3 of them. phy, biz, chinese, maybe english too. chem i am prettu sure i can raise it to about 3 or 4 this term , math will be 3 i guess, that makes 29, for this term, and i will improve somemore duiong the summer, to work on my EE and TOK essay, this 2 sucks, man cant fail....sigh sighs

god help me, now i know how hard life can be...........