damn....having a bad headache....sucks....duno y i guess i caught a cold....its just another day that passed, and i m getting more and more worried,because every day that pass, means that one day nearer to the day i graduate,which i dun really want to..because i m not sure if i can make it or not...i hope i do, although people always told me to trust myself, i know..but i just cant do it...this few days, i discovered that my memory skills are getting worse and worse. i have no idea y, mayb because i drank too much coke? i guess? but i seriously cant remember things and i also cant get things going my way...just like for math, i knew i revised my ass off for the test,but during the test, i just cant remember anything from the perivous day...everyday i feel that there is a force pulling me back, i duno what it is,but i cant overcome it.

This force is always pulling me back and preventing from doing anything that i m suppose to do...now at this moment i m thinking, if i should actually take the SAT in June2009 or jan2009???well mum is right,get it done once..true...so i m working on SAT.

still, my piano, i just cant some debussy song-Arabasque...and mozart fanatsy...i tried...jimmy said i suck because i cant get a simple pop music done,which is needed for my band...its not i dun want to get it done, i want but when i play it, i just dun have the feeling of me playing the piano 2 1 month ago....

the feeling starts at end of november...i duno what causes it, so i hope that i actually is able to find it out, so i can stop this struggling....but wht excatly is the feeling,?i have no idea too. well i guess i need to speak to the Psycologist?or some people?but who i shall i speak to?who will be willing to hear me out and ta;lk to me?no one.......

tmr during free period i m goin to practise piano, i need to get over that feeling....and i will do it...............................