SAT test tmr, its a mock test, second time going to take it,hope dun get that bad...i have being joining the SAT class, since the 18th, everything is going pretty good for me, at least that what i feel about it...

here i am thinking about life again, its a thought i cant get off my mind..no idea y,but somehow...yea...dad makes me study, of course,but i just notice that i have so much things to do in the following on year. Math test is on monday, i m done with hw, and i understand it, except small part of integration....

now i m beginning to hate skl more, some one took my MATH BOOK today, and hid it somewhere, i duno where it is, but i know its somewhere, if thats a prank, i hope it stop, but if that person really needs it, i will be willing to lend, i m not selfish....but dunt do that...someone has being going around stealing text books. this is not funny...i m serious, i m damn pissed now. mayb now i know y people want to do that to me...they hate me, i am hated in the class..............................

yes, i admit, sometimes i can be over reactive, but thats like 2 ,3 years ago? i m 17 now, and i know, i am beginning to think and do things like a 17 year old, not like a kid anymore, i know thats call bad impression.....

life sucks, i dun wana live anymore
whats the point of living when u know nothing turns out right
whats the point of trying when u know u will fail in the end?
whats the point of trying to get close to people, when there is a force, repelling u from them? its no point, isnt it? there might be many things waiting for me to do..and i understand...but still, y try to force pressure on me, when i m already breaking down, decaying,dissolving in everything, i m broken down into pieces...pick me up and put me back together again, but there will be cracks, and one day i will crack again.....like glass....

life is fragile, everything is, i am, i already have many cracks in my heart, and i cant take anymore, since they all dun want me in choir, i will leave...to some other CCA, i will still get CAS hours. but i like chior, its music, its something beautiful to me...music is my life! well nvm now.

my life on standby right now.......i guess when people said life is comin to an end, i know wat it mean now. i guess this is y i like this band ALESANA,because their songs suit me,

Sweat drips in my eyes
screams of lust we cry
tonight you are everything
you're everything...
you're everything to me no more
as I wake from this perfect dream
I'll escape from Eden's walls
can I not stay and live this lie?
go away and I'll think only of myself

And to think that you would not be scared
or surprised if I'd severed all these ties
this is the end...

I'll lose myself in anguish for tonight
help me get over you

I feel so numb to see this bitter end of beautiful illusions...
would this be the same?
broken pieces will not mend to save our past now...go away...

I'll lose myself in anguish for tonight
help me get over you
one last false apology
help me get over you

Now we must let go
urgency overwhelms me as I must restrain my flood of tears
I refuse to be slave to your false beauty again

I'll lose myself in anguish for tonight
help me get over you
one last false apology
help me get over you

In my mind blood drips from your eyes
a beautiful last goodbye