SAT on this Saturday, i am not sure if i am ready to actually take the test,....i dun have a choice, do i? i need to go back to Singapore to take the SAT exam. what should i do??i duno.....
I m leaving on wednesday night, i dun dare to face it...ARGH i having a very band headache now, reali bad, guess i am under too much pressure, i m afraid i freak out during the test....
i m in a state of melanchony now, duno what to do next...sign...high school sucks. and its so not fair, y didnt sunny recieve the cert when he is suppose to recieved, and MR low he did no shit then he got something, wat the fuck man......seriously, i m going to speak to the tacher about it, or i will kick ass....
Worried worried worried.....all i am not is worried and anxious, i feel that my veins r bursting out in me, and i cant take this anymore.....
life is difficult.....
Apr 27, 2009
Apr 23, 2009
if i can turn back time, i would change everything
if i had study harder, i would have better results
if i had learn guitar instead of piano
if.....
many many if in life
i duno y , but somehow i cant change the things, math i have being failing ever since i got to middle school and now i am high school, i m still failing. 1 2 3 on the report card.....how am i going to apply for university with that result? man wilson ot 33 and i got 22. FUCK MAN, i dun think its fun,
whats the point of living when nothing works now, my SAT, sign, duno what i will get for the actual exam, someone help
May 2nd cant think of it, i dun dare to think of it, i wana write on chinese history but what to write?doin on physics? Astrophysics? not agreed by parents....
failed math like shit, cant imagine whats next, mean chem i got 10 out of 24, should get 16, feeling like killing myself,!!!!!!!!! y y always me,
i dun wana be the one the battle always choose
y am i always the one failing
y do i suck at so many things?
is there one thing i m good at?
i dont think so, i cant explain this feeling inside me, i wana scream, but no sound comes out of me, i wana cry, but my tears r frozen...
The image i see in my mind....
Hurts me like when a child dies...
i cant face everything around me
i try to forget it
but it keeps coming back to me...
i tried to scream, i tried to cry
and i am still gona try
but at this stage,when nothing matters
whats the point of living?
take me away, slient angel
i see darkness infront of me
i see hells door opening,
waiting for me to jump in...
i dont want to say goodbye
but whats my choice here
rather than saying goodbye?......
Joshua said he will help me with chem and math, thanks man, thanks to everyone who helped me in life, but this is a time, when i think life is meaningless to me, no point applying to university when i know i cant make it, when there r only 1s 2s and 3s appearing on th progress report of mine............
if i had study harder, i would have better results
if i had learn guitar instead of piano
if.....
many many if in life
i duno y , but somehow i cant change the things, math i have being failing ever since i got to middle school and now i am high school, i m still failing. 1 2 3 on the report card.....how am i going to apply for university with that result? man wilson ot 33 and i got 22. FUCK MAN, i dun think its fun,
whats the point of living when nothing works now, my SAT, sign, duno what i will get for the actual exam, someone help
May 2nd cant think of it, i dun dare to think of it, i wana write on chinese history but what to write?doin on physics? Astrophysics? not agreed by parents....
failed math like shit, cant imagine whats next, mean chem i got 10 out of 24, should get 16, feeling like killing myself,!!!!!!!!! y y always me,
i dun wana be the one the battle always choose
y am i always the one failing
y do i suck at so many things?
is there one thing i m good at?
i dont think so, i cant explain this feeling inside me, i wana scream, but no sound comes out of me, i wana cry, but my tears r frozen...
The image i see in my mind....
Hurts me like when a child dies...
i cant face everything around me
i try to forget it
but it keeps coming back to me...
i tried to scream, i tried to cry
and i am still gona try
but at this stage,when nothing matters
whats the point of living?
take me away, slient angel
i see darkness infront of me
i see hells door opening,
waiting for me to jump in...
i dont want to say goodbye
but whats my choice here
rather than saying goodbye?......
Joshua said he will help me with chem and math, thanks man, thanks to everyone who helped me in life, but this is a time, when i think life is meaningless to me, no point applying to university when i know i cant make it, when there r only 1s 2s and 3s appearing on th progress report of mine............
Apr 9, 2009
god.!!nothing seems to work out here.!!my SAT why have i being screwing up for critical readin part? yes there are rules to it, i applied. i hate SAT reali hate it!
band rehersal on SATURDAY!!! need to choose 4 songs or 2(depends on the RFC admins). ok 15 minutes that way more that enough...em i guess we r doing shut up, only jimmy thinks we cant.
Sry chonghan man about ur relationship. it makes me more scared of falling into love, although its a good thing i know, but i have seen people around me, like CH, no insult, crying sadly, people breaking up, whats the point? i will say, dun even start it when u know it will end, y waste ur time and energy? u tell me?(not CH)???
i am sick and tired of life, i guess i need to find a reason to live. it makes me feel bad wehen friends cry. CH u can hold on forever, i cant. lol. but i do, i hate girls, every single one. because the hurt me b4, and.....make people laugh at me...!!!
i have scars that will not feel
i have wounds that will not heal
i have cuts on my hand that everyone can see.
but i also have pain that people dun understand
and they cant feel it
they dun care!!!!!!!
sometimes i duno whay i m here.? whats my mission? its driving me nuts, everything, another chemistty test next week, am i gona fail or pass?no idea...
msfong said i will pass, just believe, but believeing is easy, but doing it is hard, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING? i dont reali agree to this, because it does not work for me, although i force myself not to hate chemistry and math, but i do, when it comes to hard topics, and also tests....it sucks, it reali sucks.
i want to find the reason,
find the reason why people hates me?
why why why why....?!!!
so how to save my life]becasuse i m dying.......
band rehersal on SATURDAY!!! need to choose 4 songs or 2(depends on the RFC admins). ok 15 minutes that way more that enough...em i guess we r doing shut up, only jimmy thinks we cant.
Sry chonghan man about ur relationship. it makes me more scared of falling into love, although its a good thing i know, but i have seen people around me, like CH, no insult, crying sadly, people breaking up, whats the point? i will say, dun even start it when u know it will end, y waste ur time and energy? u tell me?(not CH)???
i am sick and tired of life, i guess i need to find a reason to live. it makes me feel bad wehen friends cry. CH u can hold on forever, i cant. lol. but i do, i hate girls, every single one. because the hurt me b4, and.....make people laugh at me...!!!
i have scars that will not feel
i have wounds that will not heal
i have cuts on my hand that everyone can see.
but i also have pain that people dun understand
and they cant feel it
they dun care!!!!!!!
sometimes i duno whay i m here.? whats my mission? its driving me nuts, everything, another chemistty test next week, am i gona fail or pass?no idea...
msfong said i will pass, just believe, but believeing is easy, but doing it is hard, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING? i dont reali agree to this, because it does not work for me, although i force myself not to hate chemistry and math, but i do, when it comes to hard topics, and also tests....it sucks, it reali sucks.
i want to find the reason,
find the reason why people hates me?
why why why why....?!!!
so how to save my life]becasuse i m dying.......
Apr 2, 2009
nth seems to work out anymore. i have beeen failing math and chem ever since i got to high school. SOMEONE tell me what to do. i give up on those subject, because i think i will fail IB anyways...
in school, i m hated, in the band, people thinks i m gay, the S4s S3s and S2s hates me, what the fuck did i do? well i know though, but that was long time ago, last SAT Digno test on Saturday, duno how much i will get. Man dream to America is no more now. i think thats the reason why i agreed to our new band name no more tomorrow...
Chem is easy, i get it, math is soso, some chapters not hard, some is. but when ever coming to exams, i m always screwing, same for physics,business and the rest....
i dont know y, but when exams comes, the first thought that come to my mind is 'i m going to fail". god and i really failed..uncle told me to think of red, mum and grandma told me to have faith and confidence, but how?
lying to myself saying i can do it, when i cant is not going to help. something goes wrong inside me....which i dont know y, everyone has their own strength, my is music, and concepts, not application....but this world works on application, and i want a Iphone, but most properbly not going to get it...this life is not what is seems, it contains more than i can ever take....
it contains more than i can ever get through
for once i understand something in math...well....good for me....
i wanted to do many things myself, i wanted to live myself, do things myself, lear how to drive.etc...many many more, but somehow i cant do something without the help of parents. another chem test on the 17th...i m going to fail again...because i always fail and i give up...math guess testing soon, and business test is near by, i forgot when though..but i must do well for business, i need to have a high predicted grade, to increase on my GPA, and SAT, thats something i m worrying the most, andi m working hard on it....die man die...die and no pressure at all.
the truth is, i duno y am i on earth, i have a mission, everyone does, but i cant find any evidence or clue to lead me to the answer...i m still searching for it....y people hate me, yea even in choir, alright, victor u will get it, u will..!!!!
i never forget that scene, and us sister is a bitch to me, so i aint scared of u, jeff wun help, i do things myself, my friends, called "friends".....
i need direction in life, things are storing up in my heart, i need to release it, in my own way...............
in school, i m hated, in the band, people thinks i m gay, the S4s S3s and S2s hates me, what the fuck did i do? well i know though, but that was long time ago, last SAT Digno test on Saturday, duno how much i will get. Man dream to America is no more now. i think thats the reason why i agreed to our new band name no more tomorrow...
Chem is easy, i get it, math is soso, some chapters not hard, some is. but when ever coming to exams, i m always screwing, same for physics,business and the rest....
i dont know y, but when exams comes, the first thought that come to my mind is 'i m going to fail". god and i really failed..uncle told me to think of red, mum and grandma told me to have faith and confidence, but how?
lying to myself saying i can do it, when i cant is not going to help. something goes wrong inside me....which i dont know y, everyone has their own strength, my is music, and concepts, not application....but this world works on application, and i want a Iphone, but most properbly not going to get it...this life is not what is seems, it contains more than i can ever take....
it contains more than i can ever get through
for once i understand something in math...well....good for me....
i wanted to do many things myself, i wanted to live myself, do things myself, lear how to drive.etc...many many more, but somehow i cant do something without the help of parents. another chem test on the 17th...i m going to fail again...because i always fail and i give up...math guess testing soon, and business test is near by, i forgot when though..but i must do well for business, i need to have a high predicted grade, to increase on my GPA, and SAT, thats something i m worrying the most, andi m working hard on it....die man die...die and no pressure at all.
the truth is, i duno y am i on earth, i have a mission, everyone does, but i cant find any evidence or clue to lead me to the answer...i m still searching for it....y people hate me, yea even in choir, alright, victor u will get it, u will..!!!!
i never forget that scene, and us sister is a bitch to me, so i aint scared of u, jeff wun help, i do things myself, my friends, called "friends".....
i need direction in life, things are storing up in my heart, i need to release it, in my own way...............
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